bleeding love

Somehow i think lots of things through...since da day my cousin talked to me bout some issue and ever since back from singapore..i start keep thinking lots of things. thinking way to change myself to be a better me and look up ahead t live on, solving my financial prob where i having debts, and solving my love...my heart which is the 1 giving me doubts which i don wish to happen. i write this its not to prove somthing or to gain anything...its just some issue that is meaningfull...god created us born us to this earth or we should say each of us are the creations of adam's seeds inside eve's body...we came to this world empty handed and in the end of our life we leave this world empty handed too.... so why when still living on this planet just appiciate everythin don hold it to hard or anything. do not say that without him or her u cant survive thats a touching phrase to say when loving each other yes indeed touching but thinking through this phrase its a nuts of saying so becaus theres no such thing without who we cant live on. we came down to this earth alone, living alone, and in da end we leave alone too. its not that we can carry on our wealth or love or our soul mate in together in our coffin by our death bed..bear in mind that no..we come and go alone..nothin in this world is fair..if yes..den is it fair to da ppl the patient who is suffering from death penalty???god is never fair to anyof us even we are his children. theres once or twice or thrice i keep thinking why is my life so shits with so many doubts and all i keep blaming god for giving me a heartache life..many so i keep thinking of suiciding myself whenever i face my love life....i cant solve i cant settle down i cant love and be love...and i push blame all to my life...but then as i walk in the hospital..walking pass room by room seeing inside are patient lying on the bed restless helplessly...some have disease which cant be cure where they lay down waiting for the grim reaper to take them away...in their heart every moment they keep talking to god to give them just a while longer to live on...but god is too cruel..it never give mercy..whenever it wants u toout from this world u will be out...like my aunty who had passed away in peace last 2year i guess..it was an awfull experience as she was the yougest sister of my father's side. she was young at that moment where she got a sickness in her.the doctor toldus she only left few months to live on but he few months is actually meant by few days...she was caring and sine young she always keep all her money she don go shopping buy clothes she always put her children in priority giving them the best education....which 1 good example her son, my cousin which now working for the make-up company. MAC product...he graduated at japan and won lots prizes..hes famous with his skill and all....she missed to see her son's great effort.and seeing wad she had done for these years for them..whe was young and pretty yet she leave this world without even have the chance to feel the pleasure of buying new clothes, travel, eat and so on and god just take her life away from us...why so?? so is this fair?? how bout to those who rape? rob? kill? murder? wad bout them why are they still living happily day by day among us? where god dont take theirs life away rather then takingsome innocents life? god is never fair. it can take away our lie any moment just so we don't know when..and so we had to be grateful to survive each and everyday...we should survive with great happiness not wasting time grudging around....we decide , we make every decision ourself..and all decision have a consequences which we are all responsible to face it...even u get married theres still a possibilty u will face a divorce even u have kids..its just that we are he 1 who choose this road no1 is to be blame. all we had to is justface it...life is so much things to do around....till den...muakx