flaming heart yet soaky wet

Somehow today i just feel easily fire up...is it cause the tiredness in me? or is it theres so many things swayng in and out my mind?? i wasn't that happy with my mum just now...she keeps saying :'since study till so hard why not just change corse? everyday come back so tired with the sour face.' I'm okay she say so cause i never bother wad she says if its not wad i want to hear but i just simply cant stand inside my heart ed. shes my mother, she should be giving her own daugther moraly and mentally support not keep dragging her down. surely enough i love my corse its not causing me any stress or wad so..so wad it has many assignments to do? every university or college does the same. and i morning till late evening only back home. surely enough i will be tired. yet coming back home. keep ordering me for ' duty calls' i am also a human not a robot i need rest too...why my other siblings doesn't need to do but i have to? reason? cause i will listen and they are lazy??? actually all these i dont mind doing so cause it will bring me good in future and not i want to be so calculative..its cause whenever upon reaching home i just want to rest well and so to do everything...but wad i get was mumbling and i hardly sit peacefully in my study table...with hours i will be called to do this and that..why cant they do their own thing why must ask me? i got my own stuff to do okay...somehow i once think.... home is not a place i want to go after a tiring day..unlike others wishing to be home happily...but not me. my home somehow turn out to be a place which i so much not want to stay in...they will only care, worry you like hell unless something happen to you if not....its just the same old treating way i got...argh!!!!!somehow feel like smashing my head to the wall....another thing is that my parents wants me to transfer to UCSI college which is near my hse whereas i am now currently studying at Lim Kok Wing University..reason was next time after my sis go over to UK and further study no1 will send me there cause so far..thats 1 reason they gave me... i got my license why cant i drive to school? if transport was the problem then how come when my sister study there its was nice and okay for her. but why till me i had to be like this. i don wish to transfer there. not to say to look down on there or cause i want to show off where a study. its cause i finally get used to the surrounding ere.i'm pleased with ere i love this surrounding campus life...i just wish to stay at LKW so much...and she even ask me change corse asking me scare couldn't find a job in future...at first i was so afraid of it but den lately i met up wit my fren.He is currently working and so he ask bout my corse GDD graphic design. then he asked me if i would like to work in future or when i learn the skill of graphic desgin, cause he got few frens need graphic designers...i told him by time i graduated his friends wont be needing me anymore but he said its not wad i think of.while schooling they might still give me work as part-time and success i would get pay.after graduating i could work as full-time...so i was assure i got the chance and set it as my goal and so i insist on continuing my graphic corse...telling my mum bout this she actually laugh at me..saying whoever employ me would be such a bad taste and so on... saying how skilless i am...which hurt my priority inmy heart... the goal i set up so high bright enough suddenly was bring down to dullness...like rain pour on top of me.... she should be happy and support but instead she did da opposite ways... somehow i really feel am i really that uselss to my parents?? arghh thinking of it makes the heart so aching...stop till ere then...theres so many heartache things in my mind....let me sleep in peace tonight bah....muakx